The Duchess
Overview Officially known as The Duchess of Wonderland, the Yukon and Nunavut. The Duchess is a former duchess of royalty, guns and ammo expertise, spokesperson for the NRA, and advocate for believers of The World is Flat Organization as well as a bounty hunter and entrepreneur. Having lived in isolation for most of her life, The Duchess isn't noticed much, but is considered a threat and classified extremely dangerous by the United States, Canada, Syria, and Estonia. Early Life The Duchess was born to First Lady of the United States Martha Washington and a reincarseration of The Devil along with her sister, The Queen of Hearts. She was born in Washington D.C on December 25, 1776 an hour after her sister. Within days of owning her, Duchesses' mother quickly forgot about her and took a liking to her twin sister instead. Because of this, Duchess inherited Bipolar and Avoidance Personality Disorder as a young child. Life went on like this for many years. Once Martha Washington died, The Duchess and Red Queen were teleported by Marthas Will to the magical land of Wonderland. Once in Wonderland, while Red Queen immediately took order of the land, and forced all beings there into slavery, Duchess took a different path. She reproduced asexually to create her first, and only child, Pig. Duchess had very little knowledge of how to raise a baby as she was never taught herself and didn't pay attention much in school. She fed Pig only pepper to make the baby stop sneezing. After about two months of raising the baby in these terrible conditions, a knock was heard on the door. A young girl walked in by the name of Alice, she told Duchess that what she was doing was wrong, at which Duchess disagreed. At that moment, pig turned into an actual pig, jumped up and ran out the door. Pig was never heard of or seen again. In complete anger and disgust, The Duchess yelled at Alice to leave immediately. Later that day, she stopped over for the Queen's annual croquet game. As an effect of her bipolar disorder, The Duchess was extremely nice to Alice until her sister the red queen shooed the duchess away and kicked her so hard she flew out of Wonderland forever and was no longer considered a Duchess there anymore. Life in The Yukon After being kicked by Red Queen she landed headfirst in a very cold place. She later discovered she was in the Yukon Territory of Canada. In an effort to make the best of the circumstance, she build a small house in the very north of the territory, far away from any other civilization. After salvaging for a rifle, The Duchess began to start shooting snowshoe hares, foxes, and whales in the ocean. She discovered her talent for shooting. After being annoyed with the locals that lived in the Yukon and after collecting a few more guns, she began a quest to hunt them all down, she would burn down the villages of the Slavey people and would start a genocide that would last years. Around this time, a woman by the name of Norma Stitz emerged from the Great Slave lake, in the territory to the east. Duchess and Norma met and became extremely good friends. Norma stayed at the Duchesses home and enjoyed life with her there. About 6 months after meeting Norma Stitz. Discovery channel found and contacted The Duchess. They were interested in filming for a brand new show to be put on air: Eskimo Killer. Enthusiastic and excited for her love of T.V, she immediately agreed, and filming continued. So far season one and two have been filmed, and season 3 is on hiatus. After about 2 years of close friendship, Norma left unexpectedly in search for a better life without even saying goodbye to Duchess. As a result Duchess became more isolated and solitary. A couple days later, Duchess was cooking food when she accidentally dropped a cigar on the floor of her wooden house, the house started to burn and just as Duchess escaped with her belongings, it plunged into the Arctic Ocean. Nunavut In search for a better home, The Duchess moved to the east and more north to find more isolation in the territory of Nunavut, after filming season two of her show, she settled down in the most remote town in North America; Alert, Nunavut. As the only resident there she made home in an abandoned military base and started construction to create her new base. This base is explained in much more detail on the main page for it. As her collection of assault rifles grew, her collection became the largest in the world and she moved on to a love for bombs. Her cherry snack pie addiction grew here. She would constantly raid the small town of Diomede and attack them for their Cherry Snack Pies as well as watching Date Movie on repeat. Flying on her plane on her journeys, she met a woman named Aileen Wuronos. They became closer friends than Norma ever was and still are to this day. Duchess will occasionally visit Aileen every 3 months on a Thursday if the weather is below -65º. Duchess also made acquaintance with African Hunter Kendall Jones. Her and Jones recently went on an Africa big game hunt around Namibia and Nigeria in honor of the release of The Duchesses new video game, Cabelas African Adventures. Collections etc. The Duchess has the largest gun and bomb collection in the world. She also keeps over 60000000010 cherry snack pies on demand at all times. She owns a military grade jet plane she uses on a daily basis. Duchess also owns a vast array of pets. Ranging from extinct animals to the most dangerous beasts on earth. Kesha is also located in The Duchesses basement, Duchess has no plans for her yet.